Everyday is exactly the same.

Oh no, look out, I've gone down the road of using the titles of melancholic songs as blog titles... I'm in SUCH a great mood... yeah.

Every day isn't exactly the same as the one preceding it though... each new day brings a little less energy to get myself moving and more thinking along the lines of "What am I doing?"  and "Why should I bother?"  I'm ready to leave my job.  I'm currently looking for other employment in the field of work, but I'm not sure I should.  I'm not sure if being a machinist is the type of job I want to be doing.  I can't see myself doing it for much longer, but that could just be me being unable to see myself working at my current shop much longer.  Do I want to be doing the same thing 5 years from now?  I have no idea.  As far as I know I could be dead 5 years from now, but when I was 15 if you had asked me where do you see yourself in 5, 10, 20 years I'd have probably had the same answer.  I don't know.  I really don't.  I havent been able to find employment that I enjoy.  Food service, retail, manufacturing, military... No job I've had in the 10 years I've had jobs has ever felt like it was what I was supposed to be doing with myself.  They were always what I was doing for money at the time until I got fed up with it and quit.  And it's not like I can even make money off of art anymore.  Not that I ever really did in the first place.  Even when I have all the time in the world to draw, I can't stay focused long enough to keep commissions going.  I honestly have next to no interest in probably half the subject matter I've been commissioned to draw over the years.  Mostly because it's characters I just don't give a fuck about and/or the actual subject matter I find dumb.  Just because something may have something sorta to do with something I'm into doesn't mean that I'll automatically be into the drawing.  It takes damn near an act of god for all the pieces needed for me to be into a drawing to fall into place,  things like characters involved, overall tone of the piece, if the idea behind it is maybe a dumb joke, and other things... I'm rambling somewhat now.  I ate a sandwich and I settled down.  My ability to draw is tied to my emotional state.  If I'm not in just the perfect mindset I can't do it, I don't want to do it, it causes me physical pain to try.  So for now and probably forever my drawings will only be something I'm able to do to channel my emotions.  It's somewhat of a stress relieving tool similar to someone writing in a journal.

tl;dr

You don't need to pay attention to all that shit, lookit the drawings below this instead.

Kat and a friend getting ready for a photoshoot.

Some quick studies of Kat's face.  I'm trying to alter my style a bit by thinking of things like facial structure, so eventually every girl I draw won't look like hair and eye swaps of the same girl.  And who knows, I might draw a guy now and then.

That's it out of me again.  Fuck everything.  I'm going to sleep.

-Rab

She loved that staff...

Done as a joke last Saturday in response to an episode of the new Thundercats that had aired the day prior.

That staff was just like a staff to her.

Later,

-Rab

Stream Results from Sunday October 23rd, 2011

I guess I'll take a second and post the stuff I did in the stream this past sunday.  Not a whole lot done, but I was still at it for quite a while.  About 7 hours from start to finish.  Starting out, here's a seasonal piece.  Something to commemorate free candy day.

Candy corn catsuit.  Yum.  But only a few pieces at a time, or else I get sick.

And lines from the second piece I was working on.  Been thinking about bunny waitresses again.  Full catsuited latex clad bunny waitresses.  I had started coloring this on sunday, but havent gotten around to finishing it, will try to work on it this week sometime.

Bunny bunny bunny.

And with that I must get back to work.  It's a hard, rough, thankless life turning large blocks of steel into small blocks of steel.  Later.

-Rab

Repost recap: Medical

I figured since I've been too preoccupied with trying to be somewhat social after getting home from work the last couple days, and then I never get around to getting any drawing done, that for a post today I'd put up part of a post and some pics from from my now completely ignored livejournal.  I realize that here is absolutely no different than LJ, but it looks prettier.  I find it easier to manage the account and navigate things as well.  So go ahead and suck one, livejournal.  You've had your time.  (I do realize that to truly be among those who are moving forward with technology I should have started a tumblr, but whatevs... I'll do that once this thing is long forgotten and the next thing after tumblr has been well established, thus continuing the cycle).  

Anyways, on to the stuff.  I am just directly copypasta-ing the text over from the lj post so please ignore bad formatting and spelling/sentence structure.  I'm not proof reading this at all, just trying to make it a manageable block of text.  Also, you can skip the majority of it and scroll down to the pictures and you really won't be missing much.

There are pictures, I promise.

 Basic plot I've got in mind starts off with Kat arrives home from work early on a friday night, but being too tired to do much else she cleans herself up and goes to sleep. She then slowly wakes up and finds herself not in her own bed in her apartment, but in brightly lit hospital room, and instead of the jammies she went to sleep in she is instead wearing her favorite purple catsuit.

Now fully awake she tries to move around and notices that she's been strapped to the bed with large belts, she starts to get a little bit scared as she has no idea what's going on but that fear is alleviated when a nurse opens the door pushing a cart loaded with various rubbery toys and it turns out to be Mel wearing a very stylized latex nurse costume (one that Kat had not made for her, nor had she seen before).

Nurse Melly comes in, Kat tries to get her to explain what's going on and is ignored while Mel goes about the room checking equipment and setting some up. Some typical doctor speak from Mel ("And how is the patient doing today"... etc) Some more complaining from Kat that she has things she needs to do that while not as fun, she sees as more important than being locked in a room full of fetishy things with her best friend. Some scolding from Mel about how the patient needs to calm down/relax and that Mel has just the thing to get Kat to comply.

 From somewhere Kat can't see she hears a faint hissing sound start and Mel comes into view holding an anesthesia mask attached to tubes that Kat can only assume are attached to an anesthesia machine that is probably making the hissing noise. Nurse Mel gently but firmly places the mask over Kat's nose and mouth, saying something like "Just relax and breath, you'll feel better, I promise". Even with the mask on, Kat is still attempting to talk Mel in to letting her go, but with each breath needed to complain, that's another inhale of gas, so slowly but surely Kat's complaints get less and less urgent and frequent until right before she goes under she mutters a very faint "...Fine..." and promptly goes to sleep

Anyways, that's what I got so far, after that there's different stuff that happens, Kat gets put under again and brought back for different setups/locations/outfit changes, vitals are taken, some mock cpr, various areas probed with various instruments, more gassing just for the fun of it, some standard rubbery girl on girl action, and (because it became a stipulation of it being Nurse Melly) Kat strapped into a wheelchair and taken on a little trip around... wherever they are... by her nurse. Eventually it would end with Kat strapped back down to the bed like how she started, Mel makes some comment about it being time for her to be discharged, on goes the anesthesia mask again and despite pleading to stay (much unlike the first gassing) Kat gets put under again. She wakes up back in bed, at home, the next morning, confused as hell, wondering if it was just a dream. Anyways, pictures now. These were kinda done independently of each other, so there are little differences in details and outfits and whatnot. I didn't think I was going to keep doing them.

What would be the end of the first big block of text up there, or the end of the story... no, this one is the beginning. "No more talking Kittie. Just breath and relax, everything will be just fine."

 
  Somewhere in the middle of things, checking vitals maybe, I wonder how her blood pressure and heart rate are doing with her nurse straddling her like that :P

 
Rubbery girl on girl action AND some more light gassing just for the fun of it. inflatables and insertables and pretend Mel is wearing some sort of strap-on or holding a hitachi wand in her hand there (ok, so sue me, I forgot to draw something there...) The gas mixture would not be enough to put Kat out again, but enough to keep her a little dizzy and loopy and grabby. Mel's got her own mask so she can have some fun too, but since it's not fastened to her face, she can be clear headed if she wants to be.

 and the last one

Some mock CPR rescue breathing and fondling. Kat is strapped to the bed so it doesn't devolve into just a makeout session. Mel is trying to be professional about this nursing thing. The "making out" portion of the therapy isn't until later.


Alright, and that's that for that.  It's bed time.  Might stream this weekend.  Who knows.

-Rab

It's wednesday time, come on grab your friends...

We aren't going anywhere.  It's just me.  It's hard to get the fun started.  Wednesday Time.

I've got nothing new that was drawn today, but I can post some bits of stuff I was doing for a friend.

It was some collaborative musings over outfit design for their character.  I know little about her.

  

Some fiddling with the look of her suit.  It's magic, or super science tech or something.  

 And then I had used her as a base model when I was in a mood to try and design a gas mask that would work on an anthro character and still be attractive and functional.  It doesn't really look like her, but hey, it was supposed to be and content is content.  So fuck it.

Was the rushed work of a few hours having people shout ideas at me.  

Anyways.  It's far past time for a shower and bed.  So I'm a gonna get to that.  I may draw tomorrow.  We shall see.  I've got bunnies on the brain again.

-Rab

Ya know, you know, ya know.

Holy crap.  Look at this, three days in a row again with posting.  AND something actually sketched out today.  It ain't great, but it's new content.

I keep feeling like everything I do is the wrong thing, that every decision and choice I make I've chosen not the worst possible outcome, but one of the less desirable ones.  True or not, it's how I feel.  Though I also feel that regardless of what I do or do not do that nothing matters and nothing will change and I will always be the essentially useless person that I've unknowingly built myself up into over the last decade.  I guess these are feelings somewhere along the lines of inadequacy in that I don't feel that I can possibly measure up to the people who are even among those living similar lives with similar circumstances, and so that leads me to believe that what is separating me from being happy or at least content with things are the choices I've made and that every single last one I've ever had to make I've not chosen wisely.  In effect it is true.  Everything I have going on in my life stems from things I have or havent done for myself, so I really don't understand why I'm complaining.

Anyways, got distracted by chexmix, and forgot where I was going with that.

On to the arts.  Let's start with the piece actually hastily sketched out today.

Kat and Mel cuddle time.  Kat may have fallen asleep.  It was a long day.  Cuddle time with Mel is not a boring sleep inducing thing.  

And now for the last two bits from the stream on sunday.  They were warmup/ brain clearing sketches. No thought going into the planning of them.  Started with a couple strokes of the stylus and then built sketches off of that.  

Oddly proportioned Kat likes to keep herself in shape.

Kat. She's bloggin' and makin' stuff.

That's it outta me tonight.  More tomorrow.  

-Rab

Moar stream stuff

Figure I'll toss up another piece from the stream from sunday afternoon.  It's a sketch from a couple of weeks ago that was a revisit of the "hipster hood"  that I got around to cleaning up the lines and adding some rough color to it as well.  (I say rough, and that just means I was forcing myself to do it so I wasn't really thinking about it)

Not so much "hipstery" as it is general latex kink fasion, but I had to do SOMETHING with the hood.  

Also spent a tiny bit of time reworking the mask from my last post.  And by reworking I mean I completely changed everything on it.  It's meant to be, to me anyways, the ideal functioning and most attractive possible purpose bult fetish gas mask.  And still at this stage all it's got that is perfect is the functional part.  Visually.... the design elements borrowed or out right stolen from existing masks are still way too noticeable.  I hope that in time that will go away and while the borrowed elements will still be present, they'll just mesh in a way where the mask seems genuine and unique and like it could actually exist.  But for now I still keep on poking at it.  

At this point in time it's a cross between a Canadian C4, an M95, and an S10

That's it outta me tonight.  I've got two more doodles from the stream to post tomorrow, and then some other bits from helping out with some designs for a friend's character that I'll possibly round out the week with.  

Stay frosty,

-Rab

(speaking of frost, there was a thin glaze of the stuff on my car when I left work this morning, the seasons they are a changin')